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I just wanted a good shave..

So I did a segment on NBC's Today Show about the lost art of wetshaving, and how old-school razors, badger hair shaving brushes, and high-end English shaving creams not only deliver the greatest shave you can possibly imagine, but bring back the pleasant, gentlemanly ritual that's been missing since the bloodbath of 1971 when Idi Amin led a coup to become ruler of Uganda and Gillette introduced the first twin-blade razor.

Millions of people all over the world watched the segment, and I guess lots of guys were unhappy with their shaves too, because the viewer reaction was unlike anything I've experienced in the years I've been appearing on Today. As ridiculous as it sounds, the ensuing rush on razors, brushes, and creams created a worldwide shortage of shaving goods -- vendors reported doing a year's worth of business in a few days. Overnight, funky vintage razors caked with hobo whiskers and soap scum that used to go for a few bucks on eBay suddenly began climbing to well over $100. Up had become down, cats began dancing with dogs, and the handful of online devotees who'd been beating a lonely paradiddle for traditional wetshaving all these years, beseeching the masses to throw down their Mach3's and pressurized cans of goo, nonetheless began loudly grumbling that the "@%#$ yuppies" were now storming the gates. Ain't populism grand?