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I've been spending a lot of time in the steam room lately. I go work out most lunch hours at the Y, and I've started winding things up with a nice ten minutes or so in the steam room before I shower. Ours doesn't look like this, though. If you took the photo above and replaced those two young women with a bunch of saggy, wrinkly old men (present company included), you'd have it just about right. Add just a soupcon of urine smell, and you've got it nailed (according to a younger guy I talked to about this last week during a schvitz, some of the older members sometimes lose control in there -- I'm not saying I'm happy about it, but at least it's not a situation where guys are just being lazy) (Plus there's this one guy who always comes in and does naked crunches in there -- like I need to see that).

But who cares about a little pee-pee in the air when you're drenched with sweat and your lungs are about to burst from the hot air? Where has steam been all my life, I ask you?! No wonder old guys sit in these steam rooms all day with towels across their laps. Even the ten minutes a day I catch a steam is heaven.

And of course the steam feeds the shave. Feeds it like a eunuch feeding Dom DeLuise peeled grapes. You haven't really shaved till you've shaved after a steam. There's shaves, and then there's shaves after you've steamed your puss red. I used to think the end-all be-all of shaving was a post-exercise shave, where the sweat detoxes and marinates your skin. But steam is the stuff.

I've been catching a steam, then showering, and then shaving, but today I shaved right after the steam, and showered afterward. A hot shower is still the best at-home shave prep -- the hot water softens your beard and cleans the oils and dead skin off your face for a closer, more comfortable shave. But I figured a hot shower doesn't really bring anything to the table as pre-shave that a tenner in the steam room doesn't give you all by itself.

Listen -- listen, gentle reader -- to my words: any chance you ever get to spend some time in a steam room right before you shave, jump on it. You'll get the best shave of your life.

Today I broke out the usual rig -- Schick Injector razor with Feather Pro Super blade, Vulfix #2234 super badger brush, and Taylor's Avocado shaving cream -- and went to town immediately after exiting the steam room. The sweat was pouring down my face and I was short of breath, but I splashed hot water on my puss and went to town.

The guy at the next sink over was already in mid-shave, with a blue plastic disposable (what is with these Y guys and cheap disposable razors? How much can you possibly hate yourself?) and some Gillette Foamy. I caught a smirk when I took the brush out and soaked it under running hot water, then a stare when I lathered up with the Taylor cream, then a gawk when I unsnapped the leather travel case I got from Lee's Razors and took out my Featherjector.

Some days the planets just line up and my shave is bathed in the pure light of the infinite cosmos. Today was one of those days. I didn't do or use anything different -- I just steamed up first. But that was enough. My god, what a difference. It's eleven hours later and my face still feels smooth.

I've asked around about why steam makes such a difference. Some say your face puffs up a bit and pushes the whiskers out so you cut more off of them, and then afterward when your face cools off, the base of the hair retracts into your skin so your face looks and feels extra glassy. Whatever the reason, steam works wonders.

So let's see, where does that leave me? In order to avoid feelings of inadequacy when it comes to shaving, I must work up a sweat and take a schvitz?

Really glad I'm not a shavegeek.