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Behold the larval, protoplasmic blob that collected on the underside of my razor by the end of my at-bat with Ultra-Shave shaving cream. Isn't he magnificent? Speak, Earl, speak!

Yesterday I described what Ultra Shave is -- the first high-end shaving cream designed for dryshaving, i.e. you don't need water to shave with it. You just spread it on your dry face and neck, wait 30 seconds for it to soften your beard and soak into your skin, and then you begin shaving. Oh, and you're not supposed to rinse your razor till you're finished shaving, either. You just keep swiping till you're done.

As soon as I made my first pass across my cheek, I had a strong feeling of deja vu -- my skin was mostly numb, and I could barely feel the razor as it glided over my skin. All I felt was a slight, pleasant tingle, even when I was shaving against-grain.

The sensation was very similar to how my shaves used to feel back when I was using Lab Series Maximum Comfort shaving cream, a brushless product that's chock full of the topical numbing agent Benzocaine, which deadens your skin so it doesn't feel any razor burn no matter how aggressively you shave or how crappy your razor may be. Oh, the razor burn is there -- you just can't feel it, thanks to the Benzocaine.

I asked the folks at Modern Gent who sent me the Ultra Shave whether it has any numbing agents in it, and they said it didn't. They listed Ultra Shave's ingredients as: Purified Water, Glycerine (vegetable, not animal, based), Stearic Acid, Grapeseed Oil, Grapeseed essences and extracts, and Geogard 221 (a preservative). No numbing agents I can see, but my face felt remarkably like it used to when I numbed it with the Lab Series cream.

Ultra Shave also happens to be Kosher, Halal, vegetarian and vegan, and its formula is described as being "respectful of all religions and lifestyle choices", which is a welcome rebuke to such avowedly anti-Semitic shaving creams as Castle Forbes Lavender and Salter's Mint, as well as homophobic creams like Coates Lime and Musgo Real. Will their wanton, hollow demagoguery never cease?

The shave itself was odd but surprisingly good. Odd because I kept reflexively going to wash my razor in the sinkwater after every swipe, and I had to keep reminding myself not to. Odd too because I couldn't really feel the blade on my skin, despite the fact that I was shaving with my Featherjector -- a vintage WWII-era Schick Injector loaded with a modified Feather Pro Super disposable straight razor blade --- which is a pretty aggressive razor. Surprisingly good because let's face it -- it's a lotion on dry skin, and they tell you not to rinse your razor the entire time. But damned if this stuff didn't lube things up nicely and deliver an excellent shave without a hint of razor drag and no irritation whatsoever, though I can't say for sure whether there really was any irritation, since my face felt comfortably numb the whole time.

Ultra Shave surpassed my expectations, which I admit couldn't have been lower. A dryshave? C'mon! Every shavegeek worth his saltpeter knows the whole point of a great shave is to keep your face as wet as possible the whole time, so the blade rides on a bed of water and never actually comes in contact with your skin. The lather is there to hold the water on your skin. Ultra Shave turns this whole scenario upside down, but I'm here to tell you that this stuff does what it claims. You get a damned good shave with it.

What you don't get is the pleasure of a wetshave. By benching the badger, 86ing the warm water, and swapping your favorite decadent-smelling shaving cream for this scent-free, latherless, thin, translucent lotion, you're as far away from the usual posh, relaxing, sensuous shavegeek ritual as you can get. The shave's good, but the sex is nowhere to be found. If you're purely pragmatic about shaving, you'll love this stuff. But if you dig the feel of the brush against your face, and the wake-me-up splashes of water on your skin, and the intoxicating scents of your favorite shaving creams, I don't think you're going to enjoy a dryshave. It's a very, very different trip.

I see Ultra Shave as a huge upgrade for someone who's been using one of the Edge or Gillette shaving gels, or worse, foam in a can. To someone who normally shaves with these kinds of products, Ultra Shave will be a revelation and a tremendous improvement, and its lack of scent won't be such a big deal when compared to modern gels and foams. But for someone like me who likes his brush, likes the feel of warm water on his face, and likes his rose and voilet and lavender scented creams, Ultra Shave is a tougher sell. The shave's good, but fun it's not.

That said, I'm not one of those guys who believes that progress in men's shaving stopped a long time ago, and that a Vulfix badger brush, a bit of English shaving cream, and a safety or straight razor is the best that will ever be. Even centuries-old shaving cream was once considered a "newfangled idea" with suspect merit when compared to the bars of hard soap men used to lather with. At some point, someone will come along with a better idea, and the whole she-bang will lurch forward.

That's why products like Ultra Shave are interesting to me. Guys are out there trying to come up with the shaving prep that really does boldly go where no cream has gone before, and it's important to keep an open mind about them. So while I don't personally plan on dumping all my great smelling shaving creams and my badger brushes to use this scent-free, brushless cream, and while I wonder why it numbed my skin when there aren't any obvious numbing agents listed in the ingredients, Ultra Shave does deliver a good shave, and does so in a manner that couldn't be more different from that of the usual shavegeek wetshave.