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Yes, you too can own a lucite toilet seat embedded with real razor blades and barbed wire. For only $14.99 or fourteen-hundred and ninety-nine easy payments of just one penny, you can take a load off at the end of a busy day running a major corporation, competing in an Olympic athletic event, or taking a horse-drawn carriage ride through Central Park with a beautiful woman, on this luxurious "King of Toilet Seats and Toilet Seat of Kings"!

The scary thing is, I know one guy who will absolutely buy this and install it in his bathroom. Doesn't every blogger have his or her own fanboy/stalker in the Lambs of Osiris militia in Missouri who buys everything he's "told" to and one day walks up to the blogger in a crowd wearing the exact same outfit and dreamily puts a .45 to his temple?

I've been thinking about razor blades lately. I'm very happy with the Swedish Gillettes I order from the UK, but recently I got some new razors in that I wasn't sure about. So I did what I always do with a new score -- I stick a "no-name" unlabeled Israeli Personna blade in it for a test shave. I figure these 15-cent blades (I buy them in boxes of 100 for 15 bucks on eBay) are good guinea pigs since they're cheap, excellent, and very forgiving. If a razor shaves well with one of these Israeli blades, it's a good bet things will get even better when I load it with a Swede.

The thing is, I got such a good shave with the Israeli blade I kept shaving with it all week. I get scary-close shaves with the Swedes, but in the this dry winter weather they can be a tad too much for my puss. The underside of my chin has been feeling kind of raw lately, but man, what faceturbatory shaves I get from these Swedes loaded in my 40's Gillette Super Speeds. I play with myself all day long, stroking my chin and cheeks and marvelling at the total lack of feelable stubble.

The Israeli blades don't give me this kind of shave. It looks exactly the same to the outside world, but if I rub my fingers against the grain on my neck I can feel the tiniest bit of stubble. Still, my neck actually looks and feels better after a shave with the no-name blades. So it's a choice between a shave that feels so good to my own fingers I faceturbate, and a shave that leaves my face feeling and looking better to everyone else.

Was Fernando right after all? Is it really better to look good than to feel good?